# Maria's story: losing her dad and her daughter

- **Episode:** [151](https://agents.truthliesandwork.com/episodes/151.md) (2024-12-05)
- **Type:** interview
- **Tags:** grief, personal-story, loss
- **Time:** 4:53–9:56 (start 293s)
- **Listen:** [https://truthliesandwork.com/151?t=293](https://truthliesandwork.com/151?t=293)

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[4:53] Leanne Elliott: And it isn't an easy conversation, yet it's something that we all experience. If we haven't already, we— it's certain that we will at some point. Do you mind sharing a bit about your background and how you started to get into this type of work?
[5:08] Maria Georgiou: So 9 years ago, I lost my dad. So he had cancer. And he, he, he went through 5 years of his illness. We thought he only had a few years to live. But actually, he kept going 5 years, really positive. His outlook was incredible. And that was very, very inspiring and inspirational. And at that time, something that I knew frustrated him was that people would shy away around talking about his illness. So they would come and visit him, but they didn't want to talk about it because it's uncomfortable talking about cancer. People see it as the big C word. They don't want to say it. They don't want to acknowledge it. And it's scary because there's a lot of misinformation and misunderstanding around the illness. So I— he was living with me, and I kind of went through the whole process literally from the minute he got diagnosed to the end. And towards the end, we were having these incredible conversations about what he wanted to happen Post him dying. And I would go and tell— I would be speaking to friends and family about this, and they found it really, really uncomfortable. So, so that kind of got me into this, okay, people aren't talking about this, but they really need to, because it means that we're not support— we don't know how to support people who are going through it. And it means that when that person goes, the people that are left behind, or the people that were caring for them, They have a really difficult time moving on. At that time, I worked full-time throughout the whole period of his illness, and it was really difficult because you get to a point where you start thinking, oh my goodness, people think this is an excuse. I need to go off to a hospital appointment, or I need to do this, and quite often last minute. So at that time, I didn't think that deeply into that side of it because I almost felt like it was just— there was nothing I could do about it, and it was just how it had to be. If you need to work, you just have to get on with it. But then a few years after that, my daughter got diagnosed with cancer. She was 15 years old, and it was a whole different experience because as much illness is horrible for anyone, but as much as losing a parent is really, really difficult. Having to then go through something very similar with your child, I can only describe it as, as like a million times worse, because it's just not the natural order. We don't expect— you don't expect your child to get that seriously ill. And my daughter actually passed away 3 years ago now. So she passed away 3 years after she was diagnosed. Now, again, it was that same— it was that same experience of how do I deal with work and other people around that and also give the right care and attention to my daughter and my family? And it was really, really difficult. I couldn't afford to not work. And I think that's one of the things that has kind of led me to this point as well. Day-to-day dealing with it is hard enough. Having to then go to work and deal with these issues, it's like another mountain to climb, and you feel a lot of guilt and a lot of kind of anguish and anxiety about those things. And I felt something has to be done, and there just isn't enough out there to support both the person who is grieving and actually the people at work, the management, and so on. So I couldn't blame those people. Because I think until you go through something like that, you probably don't know what it feels like
[9:15] Leanne Elliott: We're absolutely going to dig into the work you're doing and, and the incredible advocacy that, that you're, that you're putting out in the world. You said something there that I'm not sure I ever really stopped and considered, really. It's— we think about quite a binary thing, don't we? Think about grief, we think about bereavement, we think about loss. But actually, in a lot of circumstances, there is a period of time prior to that, where you're still having to work whilst caring for a loved one, um, either knowing or not knowing what the outcome is, is going to be. I mean, during that time, what— was there anything that helped you or could have helped you during that period that employers could provide to people in the workplace?