# Workplace Surgery — I got the job… so why am I terrified?

- **Episode:** [198](https://agents.truthliesandwork.com/episodes/198.md) (2025-05-20)
- **Type:** workplace-surgery
- **Tags:** job-offer, anxiety, imposter-syndrome, career
- **Time:** 51:11–57:05 (start 3071s)
- **Listen:** [https://truthliesandwork.com/198?t=3071](https://truthliesandwork.com/198?t=3071)

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[51:11] Al Elliott: Beautiful. Okay, so question number 3, Leanne. Um, I got the job, so why are you terrified? I do. I just got a job offer. It's something that I've worked really hard for and I should feel really excited, but honestly, I'm scared. Really, really scared. This is the role I wanted for over a year, but now that it's actually happening, all I can think is, what if I'm not good enough? And what if it ends up like my last job where I had to leave that because of some serious management issues? It left me burnt out, anxious, and honestly a bit broken. Oh, that's really sad. And even though this new place seems better, I can't shake the fear that I'm about to go through the same thing all over again, which I just couldn't handle. Is it normal to feel this way after getting a job offer? Have you seen people going through this?
[51:56] Leanne Elliott: Yeah, it is absolutely normal. Um, it's not about the job offer, is it? By the sounds of it, it's what you've been through with your previous employer. Um, it's, it's normal to feel fearful. And it's great that you've asked this question because you, you already have a level of self-awareness of asking, is this normal? Am I thinking about this in the right way? Um, and I guess the short answer is yes, it's normal. And there are ways we can reframe this to help you as you make this transition. So, I quote this model quite a lot. It's called the Bridges— a psychologist called Bridges, um, model of change. And it has 3 stages
[52:36] Rose Soffel: Mm-hmm
[52:37] Leanne Elliott: the ending stage, which is when you left your last job, where you felt very angry and anxious and fearful and frustrated and hurt and burnt out and exhausted. Um, and you worked through those feelings and you clearly worked through them well enough to, to look for another role, feel ready to look for another role, um, and get another role. So at that point, you're starting to enter what is called, um, the neutral zone. So you've left, you've ended the, um, the part of your, your life that, that you wanted to end. You're getting to the point where you're about to start the new beginning, which is the third stage. We're in this neutral zone, and it is a time of fear, but it's also a lot of time of hope and excitement and creativity and possibility. And it's leaning into those emotions, and you can hold these 2 emotions simultaneously. You can be excited and scared, you know. You can be excited and apprehensive. You can be, um, you know, starting to, to really think about big ideas and also be fearful of, of those being taken away from you in your new job. The 2 things can coexist. It's where you choose to invest your energy. And the key to a successful transition in this neutral stage is starting to, to, um, concentrate your energy on the things that are going to move you forward into these new new beginnings. With that, it's worth reflecting on some of the, some of the thoughts you're having that you've expressed in that question there. You know, you said, what, what did it say? Or something like, what if this turns out exactly the same as it did previously? Um, that's what we call— that's a thinking error that we call catastrophizing, where everything's gonna be awful because it was awful previously. Well, there's nothing to say that, that anything from that situation is going to carry over because it's a whole new situation
[54:21] Rose Soffel: Yeah
[54:22] Leanne Elliott: The only thing that is, is that mindset you're bringing to it. The second one, in terms of, you know, what if it fails again? What if I break down? What if I'm not good enough? That's imposter syndrome, which is what we talked about before. We've talked about a really great exercise you could do in terms of that reverse bucket list to help you internalize these achievements and start to settle down the fear that you've got. Day one in that job, you're going to be nervous, you're going to be fearful, and it's going to take you a couple of weeks to figure out exactly how this organization works
[54:49] Al Elliott: Yeah
[54:50] Leanne Elliott: Go in with hope, go with an open mind, go with a positive mindset, because we can also self-sabotage. You know, that, that is a very common thing for us to do, and we start to see the red flags because we want to see them. It's that self-determination, um, self-determining prophecy. So be mindful of that. So I think, in short, it's totally normal. Understand exactly where you are in terms of this transition. This is a neutral stage where things are going feel scary and exciting at the same time, and that's okay. And maybe just go back through your question every time that you've said something around, what if it all goes wrong again? What if I'm not good enough? Take that, write down that statement that you've made, and just try and come up with counterarguments. It might not, it might not be that way, Dem, because it's an entirely new company. Um, it might not be that way because I've had, uh, you know, meetings with the managers and they seemed really nice. might not be the way because these have— company has really great benefits in, in place for mental health. Um, do the reverse bucket list exercise in terms of that. When you write down that statement, what if I'm not good enough, reflecting all the achievements you've had before. It sounds overlaboured and it sounds a bit corny at times, but actually doing this level of reflection is what's really important to move us through successfully that that ending stage to that new beginning, that really exciting, we're on our way, this is the next chapter. And if you do that work, you'll start to call out those thinking errors as you experience them. You'll start to feel much more positive, much more confident going into this new role, and ultimately you'll have a much better chance
[56:26] Al Elliott: Yeah, great advice. I think, um, there's just one last thing I'd add to that is that it's, you know, people who've never been in a bad, you know, romantic relationship, Um, when they do get into one, they're like, oh my God, this is the end of the world. Whereas most of us have had a relationship which hasn't been brilliant. So we're not, you know, we are like, okay, we're going into the next one with a little bit of trepidation rather than throwing ourselves, you know, headfirst into it. It's same with a job. I think you're almost, you're almost fortunate to have had a bad experience cuz now, A, you know what bad work looks like or a bad culture, what it looks like. And, and B, you're not gonna be blindsided by a terrible boss because sounds like you already had one
[57:05] Leanne Elliott: Yeah
[57:05] Al Elliott: Whereas there's a lot of people who, you know, who maybe work— particularly they work somewhere for like 30 years and they leave and go and work somewhere else and go, oh my God, you know, this person's terrible. Actually, they just might have had a really, really good boss in the last place. So, uh, so I feel like, yeah, that's the positive you can take out of it. But definitely do the exercise that Leanne said. Thank you so much, Lee. That is fantastic. That is all for now. Join us next Tuesday for another edition of This Week in Work. Also, if you join us on YouTube next week, you'll find out if I found the iron, which I haven't news for a year