# Timing — how long before you decide to stay or go?

- **Episode:** [211](https://agents.truthliesandwork.com/episodes/211.md) (2025-07-03)
- **Type:** interview
- **Tags:** timing, career-decision, negotiation
- **Time:** 32:15–34:49 (start 1935s)
- **Listen:** [https://truthliesandwork.com/211?t=1935](https://truthliesandwork.com/211?t=1935)

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[32:15] Al Elliott: Right?
[32:15] Richard Birke: So the amount of preparation that, you know, you're going to find that to be common. Whenever you see hard and fast rules, I have a knee-jerk negative reaction. Never split the difference. Actually, sometimes splitting the difference is really the most efficient, simple, best way. And I do that with friends when we go to lunch all the time. So never split the difference is like, Avoid knee-jerk splitting the difference. I would say to buy Chris Voss's book wherever you are. Chris, I'm a fan, but you're not the only voice out there. And I think the title of your book, while provocative, maybe it was a little bit too absolute for me. So always prepare and Then take everything else with a grain of salt
[33:08] Al Elliott: So here's your homework this week, and this is gonna sound completely mad, but trust me just for a second. I want you to go out and try and negotiate for something you absolutely do not want. Maybe it's a car you hate, or a service you'd never use, or a product that's completely wrong for you
[33:23] Leanne Elliott: Brilliant, because your BATNA is perfect. You genuinely don't want it. You can walk away from anything they offer because you never wanted it in the first place. Just be careful not to talk yourself into actually buying it
[33:34] Al Elliott: Exactly. And pay attention to how differently you feel in that conversation. Notice how relaxed you are, how curious you become about their position, how willing you are to explore creative options when you've got zero attachment to the outcome
[33:47] Leanne Elliott: Then ask yourself, how can I bring this same energy to the negotiations that actually matter? The promotion conversation, the salary review, the project assignment you really want
[33:58] Al Elliott: If people want to learn more about you, where's the best place for them to go, Rich?
[34:05] Richard Birke: jamspathways.com is a wonderful website where you can learn more about how some of the ideas that I've been thinking about for decades are manifesting themselves in practice at work. You can also easily link to my bio, and I'm also on the main JAMS site, which is just jamsadr.com
[34:27] Al Elliott: JAMS
[34:28] Richard Birke: So feel free to reach out to see if there's a question I can answer for you or whether there's something that our company can do for yours
[34:37] Al Elliott: We'll be back next week with another deep dive into the science of work. Until then, remember, your BATNA isn't just your plan B, it's your secret weapon
[34:45] Leanne Elliott: This is Truth, Lies and Work. We will see you next week