# Why the ego isn't your enemy and where to find Carolina

- **Episode:** [221](https://agents.truthliesandwork.com/episodes/221.md) (2025-08-07)
- **Type:** outro
- **Tags:** ego, self-development, coaching, personal-growth, resources
- **Time:** 39:46–44:00 (start 2386s)
- **Listen:** [https://truthliesandwork.com/221?t=2386](https://truthliesandwork.com/221?t=2386)

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[39:46] Al Elliott: I want to ask you a bit of a practical question because you've I agree with you, by the way. Ego is the enemy
[39:51] Carolina Lasso: Yes. And I'm gonna interrupt you there, Al, because I don't think ego is an enemy. We don't have an enemy. I don't think so. I actually use the word transcendence when referring to the ego. I actually think we should embrace it and love it. And I think there are a lot of misconceptions about the ego and a lot of different definitions, right? So if you go into Psychology itself, it means one thing. Sometimes they call it personality. If in colloquial terms, it means someone arrogant, right? Like, oh, egocentric. It comes from that. But the more I would call it more perhaps spiritual, or the term that I have come to embrace is ego is the identity you create about your life, about yourself. So we all have a story in our heads of our own life. I introduced myself, I chose what words to include, I chose what events not to include, right? Like, that's my story. It's the narrative I have of my own life that then becomes a little bit of a reputation that I'm going to protect at all costs. That's the ego. It's that narrative. And so, ooh, If they perceive me as different, then the ego feels attacked. And so it is going to react or, ooh, if I don't do this, I'm not going to get love. I'm not going to be loved. I'm not going to belong. Therefore, the ego goes out and it does things to protect us. And so I don't think we need to overcome it. We need to fight with it. We should, I've learned we should embrace it, listen to it
[41:35] Leanne Elliott: Yeah
[41:36] Carolina Lasso: And sometimes simply appease it. What's going on, ego? What part of you is feeling attacked here? Let's have a conversation. What message do you have for me? I really like the approach of internal family systems to identify all of those parts of ourselves that sometimes go out and protest or feel attacked or simply need a little bit more love. And I think the ego is one of them
[42:02] Leanne Elliott: And that reframing is wonderful. The ego isn't the enemy. It's trying to protect us. In her case, protecting her need to belong
[42:10] Al Elliott: It all comes back to that achievement addiction, doesn't it? Using accomplishments to feel loved. I'm sure we've all done it. Okay, let's just find out quickly where people can learn more about Carolina's work
[42:20] Carolina Lasso: Sure. People can go to my website, carolinalasso.com, or LinkedIn, uh, talk to me. There, if you speak Spanish, I'm also on Instagram as @carolasso, and I love hearing from people. So just name this podcast and let me know that you've listened to it, and I'd love to engage in conversation. I do answer most of the messages I get, all of them. And so please do connect
[42:48] Al Elliott: And have you still got a Spanish-speaking podcast?
[42:50] Carolina Lasso: I do. Yeah. It's called Plenamente. And I talk about purpose primarily, and I talk to people who live a purposeful life because I love to present examples, real-life examples of what that looks like, what that feels like, and how it's possible for everybody
[43:09] Leanne Elliott: What I liked about this conversation, she's not selling a miracle cure or a silver bullet. She's not saying, quit your job and move to Bali
[43:17] Al Elliott: No, she's saying, just notice. Notice when you say, I am busy. Notice when you skip lunch. Notice when you don't drink water because you might need the toilet
[43:26] Leanne Elliott: And maybe, just maybe, question whether that's really being responsible if you're just wearing busy as a badge of honour
[43:34] Al Elliott: Now, look, I know some of you listening are thinking, oh, it must be nice to take a 6-month sabbatical. And of course you are right. But the recognition part, that doesn't actually cost anything
[43:43] Leanne Elliott: Yeah, exactly. Even if you can't change everything, you can start noticing. And that really is the first step
[43:48] Al Elliott: Right, that's it for today. Remember, you do deserve to be well. Not perfect, not optimised, just well
[43:54] Leanne Elliott: Even on a Tuesday morning. This is Truth, Lies and Work. We will see you next week